I'm having one of those days today where my heart just hurts! My heart hurts because I want my 5th child home with me, in my arms. Somedays it's easier to go about my day-to-day "stuff" without thinking, every second, about how badly I long to have our child home. Today, however, is not one of those days. I took the two younger kids this morning to Hobby Lobby to pick up a couple of Christmas decorations (yes, I'm one of the crazy people that puts my Christmas stuff up as early as I possible can). As I was walking around looking at the stockings, an overwhelming ache came over my body. The thought of my child spending Christmas without us just plain hurts! I know some people don't understand how my heart can ache so much for a child that I've never even met. Well frankly, I don't exactly understand it either. All I know is that there is a 7th person that is suppose to be in this Cole household that isn't here yet and I don't like the empty feeling it gives me. Now, don't get me wrong, I have complete and total trust in God's providence and timing. God is completely in control of this situation and in that I do have peace. As a mom though, sometimes my emotions get the best of me!(Ok, those of you that know me, know that my emotions usually always get the best of me! HA!) So, I apologize to those unfortunate people that saw my emotional breakdown in the stocking aisle at Hobby Lobby! :) I can't promise it will be the last one.