All week, someone in our house has been sick. I have been listening to either one of our four kids or my husband cough their poor heads off. We've made two trips to the pediatrician and numerous trips to the pharmacy. This happens every year at some point...all the kids pass around some "bug" and keeps me stuck in the house for about two weeks straight. (Why they can't all just get it at the same time is beyond me!) So, needless to say, it's been a down week around here. For me, it's also been a down week emotionally. All of you on this crazy adoption rollercoaster know that is doesn't take much to get you down while you wait. This week, that's where I've been.
However, it's amazing how God uses those "down" times to speak to us the most. Maybe it's because when we're down, the only place left to go is "Up". Tuesday afternoon, I was doing my Bible study and I ended up in a pile of tears on the floor. (Those of you on this adoption journey also know that at any given moment you can just burst into tears. My poor husband and friends can attest to this!!) I was crying out to God to show me, if even in just a small way, that He is working out all the details of our adoption and that Troy and I are doing what He wants us to. As I prayed and blubbered and let loose my nasty cry (Girls, you know what I'm talking about when I say a nasty cry. The kind of cry that leaves you looking just plain snot-faced nasty!), the words "Romans 4" just kept reverberating in my mind. After finally being able to think of nothing else, I decided to get up and read Romans 4. (Mainly to prove to myself that I must be going crazy by making up some random scripture in my head.) Romans chapter 4 begins by talking about Abraham and his being justified by faith. As I continued reading, I busted out laughing because around verse 9 it begins talking about blessedness for the circumcised vs. uncircumcised and all I could think of was, "Fantastic Stephanie. Out of ALL the passages in the Bible to read, you pick the one about circumcision......not much help!" (Yes, I do understand the spiritual significance of those verses, but at the moment that's definitely not what I was seeing!) Then, verse 16 hit me like a ton of bricks..."Therefore, the promise comes by faith..." Verse 20...."Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." What was this promise that God had made to Abraham....he promised him that he would be the father of many nations. In that moment, God showed me that "he's got this" and I need NOT waver in unbelief! Even when I can't see what he's doing, "he's got this". How would faith be involved if I was able to see every little detail being worked out? It wouldn't. Faith is believing in something that you can't see!!
There's just no way around it, waiting is hard! There's just something innate in us as humans that does NOT like to wait. However, I serve a risen Savior that will give me enough strength to get through the waiting today. Tomorrow, he'll give me enough for that day. Are you weary and tired, cry out to God. He will fill you up and give you the strength you need for today. If there's anything I have complete assurance in, it's that!