Hard Day - Day 4

Our fourth day began with breakfast in our room, with Tatyana. We had quite a spread (bananas, pears, mandarin oranges, local pastries filled with potato and chocolate cake.....YES, chocolate cake)! Tatyana informed us that she had a meeting that morning with the district inspector, so a dark blue car from the baby house would be picking us up. I don't know about you, but I was a little nervous just waiting on the corner for a dark blue car. In fact, that's probably frowned upon to get in a car, in a foreign country, with someone you've never seen before! LOL As soon as the "dark blue car" pulled up, we knew it had to be from the baby house. A nice man helped us with our bags and we got in. Sitting in the seat next to me was a woman who worked at the baby house. In her arms, she held a bundled up baby. (TINY baby) It was all I could do not to reach out and hold that sweet child! I stared at her beautiful face all the way there! It ripped my heart out to know this precious little one was headed to a baby house. In that moment, I said a prayer for her. I prayed that God would lay a burden on a sweet couple's heart that they should adopt!! I continue to pray for that baby and I don't plan to stop!

Once we arrived at the baby house, I was chomping at the bit to get in there and see our "little man"! In fact, I think I may have run inside! This time they took us upstairs to a play room. It was extremely nice! Mirrors all over the room, lot of play equipment and tons of little chairs in a semi-circle. I got my shoes off, my surgical mask on (Troy got the camera ready), and we waited. In about a minute or two, the door came open and in he came. He came to us much quicker and easier than he did the day before. I instantly scooped him up in my arms and kissed him probably 100 times! We all then got on the floor and began playing. He went straight for the backpack. He definitely remembered all the toys that had been in there the day before. In the room, they also had a HUGE (over 5 ft tall) plastic ring stacker (you know the Fisher Price toy that has been around forever...it has a white plastic pole in the center and you stack the colored plastics rings on it largest to smallest). Troy leaned it over and took all of the rings off. It has 2 rings of every color. Next thing we know, "little man" is organizing all the rings by color and then begins to take them largest to smallest over to Troy to put on. Troy tried giving him one light green ring and one dark green ring, but "little man" put the light green one down and walked around the room until he could find the dark green one. I was amazed. All the workers kept calling him "the professor". We only had an hour and a half with him that day. We had to be back in Perm at a certain time to meet with a notary, so our time was limited. Each time I looked down at my watch I felt my stomach get tighter and tighter. Then it happened. Tatyana came in and said we had to go. How do you say goodbye to your son that you just met? How do you leave him in a baby house? In that moment I have never been so thankful for my God that is "a God to the fatherless". My God who promises to "protect the orphans". I held "little man" tighter than I ever had and Troy and I both kissed him. I of course cried my eyes out and we led him back to his group room. Over the past 8 years of motherhood, that was by far the hardest moment I have ever faced. Even as I type this, tears stream down my face and the pain of leaving my child overwhelms me. As much as my heart aches to have him in my arms, I know that God's got him in His arms and there's NO better arms for "little man" to be in!

On the drive back to Perm, I alternated between sleeping and crying. Nothing like a LONG car ride to make you sit and think and CRY! (On a side note, did you know that EVERYONE listens to techno music in Russia???? I don't care if I ever hear another techno song for as long as I live! 3 straight hours of it....torture! If you think it was bad for me, my poor husband who only listens to old country was about to die!)When we got back to Perm, we had to go straight to the notary's office to sign our official intent to adopt papers. After that was done, we went to a cafe and had some lunch. We all decided we needed a nap after that, so off to the hotel we went. I cried a little more in the hotel room and then got a much needed 2 hr nap!

After our nap, we met up with Tatyana again and went to our favorite cafe and had more blini (pancakes). Have I mentioned how much I loved blini?? We tried to find a place with WiFi after dinner. We went to a shopping area (like a mall), but I still had no luck getting the internet to work on our computer. After trying for quite a while, I decided to give up. I was beginning to think it just wasn't meant for us to have ANY communication with anyone outside of Russia. HA! I do have to admit though, it was nice not having to check my phone and e-mail every 5 minutes!!!

Going to sleep that night was difficult for me. All I could see was "little man's" face when I closed my eyes. We prayed for our son and prayed for the people that are caring for him and that the next few months would pass quickly!